


The Mixtape

by theratheller



Series: Dean's Top 13 Zep Traxx [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s12e19 The Future - Mixtape Scene, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Jack Knows, Light Angst, M/M, Mixtape, Requited Love, Sam Winchester Knows, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28262616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theratheller/pseuds/theratheller
Summary: “It’s a mixtape. Dean made it for me.”Sams eyes widened for a split second. His mouth threatened to turn up at the edges but he pressed his lips together just as quick.“Dean made you a mixtape?” He asked slowly. There was humour in his tone for reasons Cas didn’t understand.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Dean's Top 13 Zep Traxx [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201943
Comments: 55
Kudos: 409





	1. The Question

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t set at any specific point of time, just a cute fluffy tale about the mixtape. Enjoy! xx

“Cas what’s that?” 

Dean was out on a beer run, Jack was in his room. Only Cas and Sam remained in the bunker library, doing research for a local ghoul case. 

Cas had been absentmindedly fiddling with a rectangular object in his hands. Clearly frustrated with the lack of progress he was making. Computer based research still wasn’t his strongest suit, yet he wanted to be helpful and so he soldiered through. 

“Oh it’s- it was a gift” Cas replied, his gruff voice almost reading as shy. Sam couldn’t gauge why. 

He tucked whatever it was back into his one of his trench coat pockets gently, and then patted the item lightly as if to make sure it was still there. 

“From who? What is it?” Sam’s curiosity was piqued. Cas didn’t have any friends that he knew of besides them, and he was sure the other angels weren’t gift giving types.

Cas hesitated as if he weren’t sure he was allowed to say anything. He didn’t know why he felt that way so he pushed it aside and answered. 

“It’s a mixtape. Dean made it for me.” 

Sam’s eyes widened for a split second. His mouth threatened to turn up at the edges but he pressed his lips together just as quick. 

“Dean made you a mixtape?” He asked slowly. There was humour in his tone for reasons Cas didn’t understand.

He tilted his head slightly, confused. “Yes. Why is that funny?” 

“It’s not funny, I just uh- Can I see it?” Sam continued to press down a smile and looked up at Cas with raised brows.

Cas couldn’t think of a reason why not, though he was still hesitant, especially now that Sam was reacting oddly. He removed the tape from his pocket and tentatively passed it over to Sam who was now grinning. 

“Oh wow. This is. This is great.” He smiled up at Cas, reading the handwritten label on the tape.  
Cas smiled lightly. It was great. It was from Dean. 

“Zeppelin huh. That’s uh. Interesting. You know our parents loved that stuff.” Sam stated too casually. He had a mischievous glint to his eyes as he passed the tape back to Castiel. 

Cas feared he had made a mistake. He was going to inquire further about Sam’s seemingly strange reaction before the bunker door swung open.

“I come bearing gifts!” called out Dean.

He came down the stairs and casually dropped two six-packs onto the table, before slouching into a chair next to Cas.

Sam spared no time.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing all about your gifts Dean.” He coughed out, his tone teasing.

Dean frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

Cas looked around nervously. This conversation seemed like it wasn’t going to end with a happy Dean. 

“Nothing, nothing.” Sam smirked lightly. It wasn’t nothing, and Cas could tell Sam would bring this up again. 

Dean looked back and forth between Cas and Sam with a frown trying to figure out what he’d missed, but before he could say anything Sam spoke up. 

“Anyways I think I’ve got something on this ghoul.” 

•

They were exhausted. 

What they had thought to be one ghoul had turned out to be five. The energy in the Impala on the drive back was tense to say the least... they were all worn out and grumpy. Except for Jack who seemed happy to be involved as ever. 

“Put on some music, it’s too quiet.” Dean gruffly gestured his head to the tape deck. The frown that had been plastered on his face unwavering. 

“Any requests guys?” Sam looked back at Jack and Cas. 

Cas remained silent, looking out the window. He’d been ambushed by three of the ghouls during the hunt. They’d been no match for him, but Dean had blown up over it. So now they all suffered the silent treatment. 

Jack spoke up carefully “I like Lizzo, me and Cas listen to he-“ 

“Yeah that’s not happening.”

“Dean.” Sam chastised. 

At that Dean sighed, tilting his head up to the roof in frustration. Sam continued to glare at him.

“Sorry Jack. We uh don’t have any Lizzo here.” Dean managed to sound genuinely apologetic. 

“That’s okay Dean.” Jack seemed happy enough with that. 

Dean glanced over at Sam to make a ‘happy now?’ face, but the younger brother seemed to be too busy contemplating something. Whatever it was couldn’t be good because he looked much too happy about it. 

Dean looked back out at the road. Sam finally spoke up after a few moments.

“What about ‘Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx’?” 

The Impala swerved for a split second. 

Dean’s face straightened out. He looked up at a still silent Cas through the rearview mirror, before abruptly looking away.

“What?” Dean tried sounding confused. 

“Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx... with two X’s” Sam repeated, the smile audible in his tone. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dean coughed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

Dean glanced at Cas again, nervously. The man in the backseat was now looking at Dean with his head tilted in confusion.

“Dean, he’s talking about the gift you gave me.” His tone was genuine, almost sad. 

Dean’s face softened. Of course he hadn’t forgotten. He almost wanted to say as much to get that sad look off of Castiel’s face. 

“Yeah Dean, the mixtape you made Cas.” Sam smirked up at him with raised brows. 

At that Dean’s expression hardened. 

“Yeah, and? What’s the big deal?” He had given up on the forgetful charade. 

“Did you play it out of a boom box the first time or-?” Sam muttered under his breath teasingly, his tone light, clearly not malicious. 

“He’s got crap taste in music, I was trying to help him out!” 

Cas interjected.

“I think Lizzo is a perfectly respectable music artist Dean.” 

“Cas you’re not helping.”

At that Cas squinted. He was perpetually confused with this conversation. What was the big deal with the mixtape?

“This conversation is confusing.” He stated plainly.

At that he received a soft sympathetic smile from Sam, who Dean was glaring daggers at.

“Dean do you have a crush on Cas?” Jack suddenly interjected innocently. 

Many things happened at once. 

Sam half choked himself to death trying not to burst out into a fit of hysterics. The Impala swerved again much more dramatically, before Dean was able to guide it back. And Castiel’s head whipped to the side to face Jack with wide questioning eyes. 

“What, what I- What?!” Dean managed to sputter out.

Jack — confused at the reactions he’d received —continued on, more unsure of himself this time. 

“I- In the movies I’ve watched that’s what it means when you make someone a mixtape.” The statement coming out more like a question. 

Sam contemplated taking out his phone to film the moment. 

Before Dean could answer, Cas intervened. 

“Jack, not everything from pop culture is accurate to real life. Some things are just friendly gestures.” The hint of sadness in his tone did not go undetected by either Sam or Jack.

“Oh. Okay.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He took down a mental reminder to wake up early and spit in Sam’s smoothie the next morning. 

•

The following night Dean wandered into the bunker’s kitchen for a glass of water, or something stronger. He hadn’t made up his mind yet. 

But then, there was Cas sitting by himself at the table, mixtape in hand. Dean inwardly swore.

He hadn’t necessarily been avoiding him, but ever since the awkward car ride he definitely had been more reserved around Cas. Sam had noticed and commented on it, he seemed apologetic. Dean was going to let him feel bad for another day or two. 

He finally took in a breath and walked up to the fridge. Cas noticed him then.

“Hello Dean. Couldn’t sleep?” 

“Yeah not so much.” Dean settled on a beer, and walked over, taking the seat opposite Cas. 

Cas eyed the bottle disapprovingly but didn’t say anything. He continued to fiddle with the mixtape. He held it in his hands running his thumbs over the writing on the front. It seemed as if he found it comforting. 

Dean took a swig before talking. 

“You sure like that thing huh.” He tried sounding casual and light, but affection and a hint of pride seeped through his voice. 

Cas merely nodded, not looking up. 

“Didn’t realise you’d end up being such a Led Zeppelin fan.” He continued with the same feigned lightness. 

“It’s not about the band.” 

Dean knew he should probably leave it there. But he wanted to keep pushing. He couldn’t stop himself, for some reason he felt bolder than usual in that moment. 

“Then what’s it about?” He didn’t mean to gulp as he finished his question, but he felt tense. 

Cas finally looked up. Eyes not revealing anything, though he smiled softly.

“It’s because it’s from you Dean. I appreciate it.” 

Dean blinked rapidly before huffing out a laugh. 

“Well aren’t you sentimental.” 

Cas smiled again. 

“I’m sorry Sam was teasing you about it. I wouldn’t have told him if I-“

“Hey man thats not on you. He was being a dick all on his own.” Dean shook his head and took another sip. 

“Still, I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable with the-“ Cas looked around awkwardly “-the uh implications he was making. I didn’t realise until Jacks comment.” 

Dean’s face began to heat up. He should’ve just stayed in bed. 

“Hah. It’s no big deal pal.” His voice was unconvincingly gruff and jokey. 

As he considered what Cas had said, a wave of sadness hit him suddenly. His throat felt tight. 

“So you uh-“ He didn’t know what he was going to say or how to say it, so he just took another sip. 

Cas looked at him questioningly however, so he tried again. 

“What uh- what did you think when I first gave it to you?” Dean asked vaguely. 

Cas tilted his head ever so slightly. 

“I was very happy, I’ve never gotten a gift before.”

At that Dean’s heart melted. 

“No but- What about the songs, what did you- Like all of it. What did you think it meant?” He had no idea what he was doing or why, but he was being pulled further and further down this path. 

Cas only looked more confused. 

“I enjoyed the songs, though that may be because I know you enjoy them. I thought it was a helpful gesture to try and broaden my musical tastes.” Cas responded. He stared at Dean inquisitorially. 

Dean nodded tensely before getting up and walking back to the fridge. 

“Did I misinterpret it’s meaning?” Cas asked carefully, sounding worried. 

Dean stared into the open fridge. He sighed. Even he wasn’t sure of the answer. 

Sure, he’d gone into it thinking he was just showing Cas some ‘real’ music. But then he’d actually started putting the tape together. Picking the songs. Pouring over it. It had begun to feel like he was pouring his own heart into it. Things he couldn’t say himself, he could say through it. 

That’s what made this moment difficult. How was he supposed to explain to Cas the things he had needed a mixtape to try to express. 

Instead he just picked up another beer and joined Cas at the table again. He opted for a slight topic change.

“What was your favourite song on it?” 

Cas narrowed his eyes slightly, but to Dean’s relief he allowed the obvious detour. 

“I quite liked ‘Good Times Bad Times’.” 

“Figures.” 

“There were a lot of songs about love on it.” Cas said suddenly. Even he looked surprised at the words having come out of his mouth. His oceanic eyes widening for a split second. 

Dean choked down the sip of his beer that had seemed to have gotten stuck in place when Cas had spoken. 

The silence was heavy. Dean heard himself breathe out. His head rang. He couldn’t form any coherent thought in that moment so he just answered. 

“There were.” 

“Why?” 

There was determination in his voice, but Cas was looking at Dean almost fearfully, like he was watching something slip away. Whereas Dean’s eyes were darting around to various sections of the floor. Neither of them was able to stop the conversation however, both stuck, only able to go forward when running back seemed like the safer option. Dean took another sip of his beer. 

“Because- I-“ he swallowed “-why do you think Cas?” Dean half whispered. His voice sounded choked. He couldn’t understand why his eyes were watering in that moment. Why did he feel like he was drowning? Why was he so scared? 

“I don’t know Dean.” 

At that Dean finally looked up at Cas, half pleadingly. 

Cas looked back at him softly, but with frustration underlying his features. His brow furrowed. He continued. 

“I don’t know what to think. I know what I want- I know what I hope- But I don’t know what you-“ Cas sighed, he was unable to get the words out. 

Dean was surprised. It wasn’t often that Cas was unable to communicate coherently. 

Dean breathed in deeply. 

“Cas I-“ 

Cas looked up at him with soft eyes. They were tender. Comforting. But Dean still felt the room closing in around him. 

“-I should go to bed. It’s late.” 

For a split second Cas looked like he’d been slapped, but his face returned to its neutral state immediately. 

“Of course Dean, I’m sorry. Good night.” He smiled slightly. It looked pained.

Dean hastily got up from his chair, not bothering to pick up the empty beer bottles from the table. He rushed out of the kitchen making a break for his room. 

He lay awake most of the night. 

It felt like a knife was twisting in his chest.


	2. The Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean fixes his mistake. Cas is hesitant to believe him. Sam just wants some peace.

“Dean you’re an idiot.” 

“Hey!”

“You ran away! He put himself out there, and you ran away.” Sam chastised. 

“Listen, you don’t understand okay. You don’t get what it’s like. And besides you’re the one that got me into this in the first place.”

Sam rolled his eyes. 

“What was I supposed to do?!” Dean continued.

“I don’t know Dean, maybe talk to him.” Sam stated sarcastically. “Tell him how you feel even.” He continued. 

“How I f-“ 

A deadpan look from Sam shut Dean up. There was no point arguing that one at this point. Not with how Dean had rushed into Sam’s room that morning, half blubbering about what Cas had asked him the night before. Before he’d calmed himself down he’d pretty much let the cat out of the bag.

“Talk. To. Him.” Sam repeated, slowly pushing Dean out the door. He’d tried the gentle and supportive approach for the past half an hour, but clearly it wasn’t working, and he had other things to do. 

“You’re no help you know that?” Dean muttered as Sam got him all the way out of his room. 

“Good luck.” 

Dean huffed a sigh as Sam’s door closed. 

He grumpily shuffled toward the kitchen. The same place The Conversation had happened the night prior. He was half expecting to see Cas in there, still sitting in the same spot. But the sole occupant of the table was now Jack, focused on his bowl of cereal. 

Dean begrudgingly walked over and sat down in front of him. He shoved his hand into the cereal box and started absentmindedly chewing on the sugary shapes. 

“Good morning” Jack cheerfully smiled up at him.

“Morning kid” Dean mumbled back half heartedly. 

“Is something wrong? Everyone seems down today.” Jack stated with a worried glance at Dean . 

At that Dean straightened up, a single sugary flake slipped out of the side of his mouth. 

“Everyone?” 

“Cas was in here earlier, he seemed sad. But he said nothing was wrong so I’m not sure.” Jack stated plainly, childlike.

Before Dean could try and fail to casually enquire about Castiel’s whereabouts, Jack’s eyes widened, and his spoon plopped into the cereal bowl. 

“Is it because of what I asked?” He suddenly questioned.

“Huh?” Dean frowned at him. Confused.

“About why you made Cas the mixtape? Are you two upset?” Jack’s concern only seemed to heighten, his expression mirroring that of a kicked puppy. 

Dean coughed awkwardly. 

“What? No kid, no that was uh- That was no big deal.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah Jack. We’re good.” 

Jack visibly relaxed, retrieving his spoon.

“So uh-“ Dean rolled his eyes at himself. He felt way more nervous than he should. Cas wasn’t even around and he was barely getting sentences out.

“So where is he? Cas.” 

•

He wasn’t a coward. 

Sure he’d been pacing and huffing outside the storage room for about fifteen minutes now. But he was just preparing himself.

After the fumble from the previous night he didn’t want to mess up again. He didn’t want to hurt Cas again. He’d seen it on his face. The sliver of hope, which had promptly shattered into a million tiny pieces. All because of him. 

And so he paced. 

His stomping and loud exhales were however, interrupted before he was done with them.

“Dean, I can hear you out there.” A gravelly voice from inside called. 

Shit. The door had been slightly ajar, he should’ve known his presence was no secret. 

Dean breathed in before sheepishly making his way inside at a sluggish pace. He was met with a stone-faced Castiel looking up at him, holding some kind of engraved bronze receptacle. 

“What’s that for?”

“Sam needs it for a spell.” 

“Huh.” 

Dean stood in place, pursing his lips and looking around the room awkwardly. 

“Did you need something?” Questioned Cas. 

“Nope.” He responded too quickly. 

“I should get this to Sam then.” Cas swiftly moved to make his way past Dean, whose presence blocked the doorway.

“Cas, wait.” Dean rubbed his eyes for a second, it was now or never. 

“I actually did want to talk to you about something.” 

At that Cas slowed to a stop, and sighed. His stoic expression faltered to one that was more so abashed. 

“Dean if this is about what I said last night. I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t want-“

“No Cas. No you didn’t. It wasn’t that.” The words rushed out of him. 

Cas looked expectantly at him, waiting for an elaboration. Dean glanced around for a few seconds. He cursed himself for not being better at things like this. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” He settled on that. 

Cas nodded formally. 

“I’m glad. Was that what you had to tell me then?”

“No, I-.” Dean sighed, looking up to the low ceiling of the room almost pleadingly.

“What is it Dean?” Cas asked in a slightly softer tone, settling down the item he’d been holding, and carefully moving closer. 

Dean looked back at him. At his soft blue eyes that crinkled at the edges. Comforting. 

He breathed in and started with what felt right. 

“You know, our parents uh- they loved Zeppelin.” 

Cas squinted slightly. His confusion was bare on his face. 

“Yeah they uh-“ Dean walked over to a nearby table to rest atop it slightly before continuing. Castiel’s eyes followed the journey. 

“Mom actually, that was part of the reason she went out with our Dad in the first place. He knew all the words to their songs.” He swallowed. 

His throat felt like it was tightening, and his heart rate was alarming, but he pushed through; determined. His eyes didn’t leave the floor in front of him. 

“They fell uh, they fell in love because of Led Zeppelin you could say.”

Silence permeated the room. He glanced up at Cas who was looking at him with a furrowed brow, an uncertain expression on his face. 

“Pretty sweet huh?” Dean huffed out with an awkward laugh.

Cas tilted his head ever so slightly.

“That is a lovely story Dean. I understand why their songs must mean a lot to you then.” 

“They do.”

“Thank you for sharing them with me.” Cas nodded, this time with more sincerity, and began to make his way out again. 

Damn it.

“Cas I- come on man I’m really trying here.” Dean sighed out as he stood. 

“Dean I don’t understand.” Cas held steadfast. His nerves were apparent. He was holding back, afraid to make the same fumble he had the night prior. 

Forget it. The phrase sat on the tip of Dean’s tongue, threatening to shatter it all again. 

Push him away. Keep yourself safe. Hurt him so he’ll be better off. That’s what his mind was telling him. 

But then Dean looked up at the blue eyes staring into him. Swirling with tension and confusion and fear and- 

“I love you Cas.” It was barely a whisper. 

Castiel blinked. He looked at Dean questioningly, mouth opening to talk but then snapping shut. He was afraid of misinterpreting the statement. He wasn’t even sure he really heard it. 

“I- There were a lot of songs about love on it. Because that’s what-“ Dean sighed. 

That damn burning in his eyes again, and the closing of his throat. The back of his neck dampened slightly. His breathing quickened as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller. 

Cas seemed to notice his growing panic, because he stepped up and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Slowly, as if he expected Dean to step away. 

Without thinking Dean placed his hand over Castiel’s arm, clutching it. 

“Dean do you really mean-“ The words came out hopeful, despite whether he meant them to or not. 

Dean stared up with pleading eyes, willing Castiel to finally understand, to accept. 

“Not- not like a brother?” Cas asked. 

“No.” 

Dean breathed in as he moved his hand up to gently and tentatively stroke the other man’s cheek with his thumb. The rest of his fingers lightly brushed against Castiel’s hair. He surprised himself with the movement, but let it happen. This time he spoke out louder, though his voice wavered with emotion. 

“I love you.” 

Dean’s eyes were brimming with tears, his brow furrowed. Emotions threatened to flood out and he was desperately trying to not let them overwhelm him. 

Even more so when Castiel finally allowed himself to react. A small and gentle smile broke out onto his face, his eyes were welling, but he didn’t hold back in the same way Dean did. He let the tears fall. 

“I-“ He let out a small chuckle, laced with disbelief. “I love you too Dean.” 

At that Dean finally let out the breath he’d been holding. The room stopped closing in, the fog lifted, he felt light. 

•

“Have you seen Cas?” 

Sam stood in the doorway of Jack’s room with a worried frown. 

“No, but I think he’s in the storage room.”

“Yeah I’m headed there now, I sent him there ages ago to grab something and he still isn’t back.” 

“Dean was looking for him too, maybe they’re talking in there.” Jack offered. 

“Huh. Maybe I should wait then.” Sam muttered to himself. 

“How come?” Jack looked confused. 

“Uh nothing I-“ He sighed. He did need to get on with the spell. “I’ll go see what’s taking him so long.” 

Jack nodded and looked back down at his laptop, as Sam began to make his way down the hallway. He finally reached the storage room and swung open the door. 

“Cas wh- Oh! Sorry!” 

Castiel stepped away from Dean who practically leaped off the table he had been sitting on a moment ago, now no longer attached to Cas like a koala to a tree. His eyes were wide and he glanced around awkwardly. 

“What is it Sam?” Cas asked with an unashamed hint of annoyance, an inquisitorial frown on his face. 

“Uh. Can you please.” Sam gestured at Castiel’s unzipped pants. He thanked whatever Gods that they were just unzipped and no actual clothes were off at this point. 

Dean snorted. 

“What’s wrong Sammy I thought this is what you wanted.” The split second of embarrassment he had felt had clearly worn off, but there was a defensive edge to his tone. 

“Yeah I’m pretty sure I never said anything about wanting to walk in on you two dry humping like teenagers... in a room full of historical and magical artefacts by the way.” 

Castiel, with his now done up pants interjected. 

“I did try telling him that, there are a lot of breakable objects here.” 

“You’re a- breakable object.” Dean scrunched up his face, reevaluating his come back. 

Castiel only squinted in response. 

“Good to know some things haven’t changed.” Sam cut in, before awkwardly shuffling over and grabbing the bowl he needed. 

“I’m gonna go now.” He glanced around. “Uh- Just remember that this is a communal space.” He finished before starting to make his way out. 

“Yeah yeah” Dean grumbled.

“Oh and um. I’m happy for you guys.” Sam finally added on as he looked back at them softly with a smile.

“Thank you Sam.” Castiel responded as Sam walked out. 

At that Dean looked over at Cas almost shyly, only to straighten his face out the moment Cas looked back at him. 

“We should probably move this somewhere else buddy.” He stated casually. 

“Are you going to keep calling me that?” 

“Sure am angel.” 

Cas rolled his eyes, before pecking Dean’s lips and swiftly moving out the door.

“Where are you going?” Dean stumbled after him.

“Your room. Hurry up.” 

In that moment Dean regretted having gone through with the whole ‘spitting in Sam’s smoothie’ plan the previous day. 

Things seemed to have worked out pretty well due to his meddling. 

“Coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to get out! I hope y’all like it xx


End file.
